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Science Shows: Practice Kindness in Family Issues

The latest published research on relationships indicates that those that last work primarily due to two qualities: kindness and generosity. In the event that a family is going through issues – divorce, separation, child custody issues, etc. – it is important to remember that there are ways to work through differences with our loved ones.

The “science” behind marriage and divorce was initially explored in the 1970s, when psychologists were concerned about the potential impact of divorce on children. Today, researchers have shown that it’s attentiveness to each other’s needs that allows relationships to thrive, or the “spirit” that they bring to the relationship; is it kindness and generosity, or contempt, criticism, and hostility? Contempt, they have found, is the number one factor that tears couples apart. Kindness, on the other hand, is the glue that holds a couple together. Evidence shows that the more kindness someone receives, the kinder they are to themselves, leading to a mutually beneficial relationship.

One of the most difficult times to impart kindness is when you are going through divorce, separation, or child custody issues, but evidence has shown that it can impact both parties and their ability to come to an agreement. It can also be helpful in facilitating mediation. It does not mean that you cannot express your anger, but rather how you express anger matters (for example, explaining why you are hurt or angry versus throwing insults).

Who Choose Mediation?

Mediation is based on solving disputes in a non-adversarial manner by a neutral third party assisting the parties to come to a solution themselves. Experienced attorneys can help you through the process by helping you understand your legal rights and interests, while the third party mediator encourages you to use mediation to improve your relationships with people who may be in your life forever, such as an ex-spouse with whom you share children. Mediators can also help you deal with conflict that regularly comes up between you and the other party.

A couple can choose mediation or, pursuant to Florida state law, judges also have the authority to order all contested family matters and issues to mediation. If you have children, prior to mediation, it is crucial that you draft a parenting plan in the state of Florida, and your attorney can assist you with this, based on your interests and priorities.

Speak with Sandra Bonfiglio, P.A.

Regardless of how you have decided to approach any family law disputes or challenges in your particular circumstances, it can be helpful (and provide you with peace of mind) to consult an experienced family law attorney to advise you throughout the process. Sandra Bonfiglio has experienced in all areas of family law, including divorce, custody, alimony, property division, etc. We provide a close working relationship with our clients, and our approach emphasizes an approach that is best for them. Contact our office in Fort Lauderdale today so that we can discuss your concerns in more detail.

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