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How Staying in a Bad Marriage Can Harm Your Children


Parents are normally aware of the damage that a divorce can potentially do to their children. However, what parents may be less aware of is the damage parents can do by staying in a bad marriage. The Huffington Post has published an article on this topic and offered the following observations below.

A Divorce Can Bring Peace

If handled correctly, a divorce can bring peace to a family. While the intent was never to raise your children in two separate households, it can be better than raising your children in one miserable household. If the children are being raised in a house where their parents are constantly arguing, it may be much healthier for them if the parents’ separate. However, the divorce must take the best interests of the children into account.

Staying in a Bad Marriage Models Unhealthy Relationships for Your Children

Children learn about relationships by observing the relationships of others and this begins at home. If their parents are in an unhappy or high conflict relationship, this can impact their expectations for their own future relationships. It may make them willing to settle for less in their own relationships.

Staying Together May Not Spare Your Children Psychological and Emotional Damage

Parents often stay together thinking that a divorce would damage their children. The psychological and emotional damage caused by an ongoing bad marriage are thought to be just as bad as a poorly handled divorce. Children need to be raised in a happy and harmonious home. Sometimes this means living in two separate homes.

Bad Marriages May Cause Low Self-esteem in Your Children

Children soak things up like sponges and they will absorb negative feelings. A home with hostility between parents will leave children confused and uncertain. It can also cause feelings of unworthiness and low self-esteem.

Your Children Will Be Uncomfortable in Their Own Home

Children thrive on consistency. When their parents are fighting, children never know what to expect in their own home. Constant parental conflict undermines the child’s sense of safety in their home.

Spouses That are Unhappy Are Less Effective As Parents

It is common for unhappy spouses to avoid going home. They may work longer hours or go out with friends more. They may also turn to alcohol to avoid being present. A divorce can make both ex-spouses better parents.

Children Often Feel Responsible for their Parents’ Happiness

Children know when there is a problem between their parents, no matter how hard you try to keep it from them. They may believe that they are the cause of tension and unhappiness. Children often think everything revolves around them and this includes negativity in the family. Remaining in an unhappy marriage for the sake of your children may actually be harming them. Children are often better off with happy parents in two separate households than unhappy parents in one household.

Contact Us To Discuss Next Steps

If you are in an unhappy marriage, and are considering a divorce, meet with Fort Lauderdale attorney Sandra Bonfiglio to discuss your options. We are prepared to help you today.



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