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What Might Surprise You about Kids and Divorce

The Huffington Post recently published a piece called “A Time to Divorce and a Time Not To” to shed light on a concern faced by many parents considering divorce—how will the kids take it? The article points out that while many parents try to ensure that they do not divorce before their kids leave home at 18 for college, in reality, most professionals in the field advise people to ensure that if parents are going to get divorced, they try to do so before their children reach their teens, otherwise it would actually be harder on them.

Staying In a Turbulent Marriage Can Harm Them More Than Divorce

It is common sense that a volatile home can have devastating effects on a child. Many feel that they are stuck in the middle at all times. Even if it may have financial consequences, the experts say that a child having at least one home that is peaceful is much more beneficial, and gives them a better chance at a healthy relationship later in life.

One of the Worst Times to Find Out about Divorce Is The First Year of College

Many parents feel that, if they can just hold on until their kids leave for college and start their own lives independently, that would be best for the kids. In reality, experts point out that when kids first leave the home, they actually need parental reassurance and security more than ever because they are just getting used to independence for the first time. Many college counselors have reported that suddenly springing divorce on them during their freshman year of college can create havoc for the child, since instead of focusing on school they are focusing on their family dynamics.

Kids Often Have an Easier Time Handling Divorce than Adults

Experts who have written on the subject have pointed out that eight-year-olds often have an easier time with divorce than 30-year-olds. For younger kids, sometimes their first reaction is one of excitement because they will now have two of everything. Older kids are more likely to worry about their parents and their own relationships with respect to divorce. In addition, adults are less likely to get support from their parents at that time precisely because they are adults and not kids. In some instances, parents even come to rely on their adult kids to discuss their own concerns of the divorce. In the words of those who have counseled these college students, they sometimes feel as though “their entire lives were a lie.”

If You Are Thinking About Divorce, Contact Us

If you are facing divorce, one of the best things you can do is seek advice early and start planning now. Sandra Bonfiglio, P.A. can help you make a plan to manage the difficulties associated with the process, such as splitting parental responsibility. We will take the time to listen to your concerns and guide you through your options. Contact our office today to see how we can help you.

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